A man doesn’t have to be much if he has much.

“In two years I plan to be pregnant by a rich man so he’ll have to marry me and support my life of luxury”

– Louisa Mason, proud to be a gold-digging Piranha

I was once made fully aware of what an ex required I think she was. She made it explicitly clear to me that she was not a gold-digger, but that she was not cheap….

I never understood what she meant by “not being cheap” since, to the best of my admittedly limited knowledge, I had not asked to buy her, nor could I have afforded to buy her anyway if I wanted to, which I did not….

 

This particularly sordid period of my chequered love life had been the culmination of a spat between us brought on by an amicable break-up –as if there are ever amicable ones– which had then gotten sour because a busybody, out to make sure we threw away whatever little decency we had left between us, had intimated to the ex in question that I had supposedly called her a gold-digger; this in fact was ridiculous because both she and I knew there was no gold to be had (a fact she pointed out in the most brash of manner to the detriment of whatever little was left of my ego).

 

So what happened here was that I had managed to make one lady very angry by leaving early when maybe she had forecast that I had the potential to be the life of the party. It didn’t help matters this just happened at about the same time I managed to secure funding for a chugging jalopy that I had been dreaming of for months; she even made to me this statement: “most men leave their girlfriends when they buy a vehicle”, I had never heard this said anywhere before but I understood her anger at the missed opportunity for bar hopping in style; you see she was a student and still in that phase of life where it is more important to stay up all night in a club than it is to worry about starting a family or even looking for a job.

Ironically the jalopy left me more indigent and deeper in debt than I was when without one, a fact that was completely lost on my ex, naturally.

 

Fast forward to twenty or so months later and I’ve met this established professional lady and everything is going fine. However, slow glimpses of the same attitude with my clubbing ex start rearing their ugly head yet again. You see this new lady was shocked to know that my life on the fast lane was lived by the mantra of faking it till you make it; to her it was a matter of actually having the goods to back up your dreams, talking of real moves being made and not being projected to be made in the future, here was someone who was basically much more stable than I have ever been and with a much fatter bank account than me (granted that’s hardly a great feat) yet somehow she would keep repeating things to the effect she never needed to pay for anything if I was around, and this line of thinking was not a question but was rather like a memo to the donkey of a man she took me for.

Eventually it became a question of actually forking over money to her rich self because she had “run out of spending money”, I am sure it is unclear to others how it is possible for this moneyed contradiction, with means far beyond mine, to ask someone not that far removed from a church mouse for cheese, but it happened. And the explanation was that they “usually don’t carry a lot of spending money” not even on MPesa (mobile money), and guess who carries the spending money for two… the braying ass of a man that yours truly was. Even worse this girl in question was a finance person who by all means is a better manager of cash than most, well maybe that was the point after all.

 

Needless to say I chose to cut my losses, moved on promptly, and kissed whatever had been lent goodbye. It had dawned on me that I was looking at yet another “I am not a gold digger, but I am not cheap” person. Ask around, there are many of those; they swear by the thinking that a woman, no matter her worth, should not spend a cent of her money on herself if a man can be made to folk out the cash; they also condemn a man who thinks otherwise as a cheapskate and an ungentlemanly scrub.

It is little wonder there is a new generation of proud gold-diggers that confess their intent to become “Piranhas”, thankfully I am too encumbered with penury that I haven’t enough flesh for these to sink their jaws in.
 

 

Exec sleeping with subordinate staff 2.0: Drama at SwiftGlobal

Tell us why you’re mad son….

Seems nowadays it’s getting extremely hard for a Kenyan man to get ahead in their career in the corporate world if, at all, they have to compete with female co-workers who are willing to do just about anything to get a job, a promotion or fringe benefits. (I suppose this might have been the case even in the past, but we just didn’t have social networks or new media to air it out)

In these realm, qualifications count for nothing (unless the qualifications refer to ability to suck-seed). Yesterdays it was Airtel; today an Exec at a major ISP is being put on blast by a frustrated employee….

From: Sgk Pissed [mailto:sgkpissed@ymail.com]
Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 5:51 PM
To: ****.jiwa@swiftglobal.co.ke
Cc: ***staff@swiftglobal.co.ke; ***support@swiftglobal.co.ke;
*****thuizen@altech.co.za
Subject: WAKE UP MR. CEO

One wonders, just what kind of a leader you are. You are concentrating
on frustrating hard working employees and rewarding the lazy idiots.
We have been asking for a pay rise and the only thing you are good at,
is telling people” FUCK YOU!!!!!, if you want a pay rise the door is
there”. Swift is not your family’s personal workshop. You ought to
treat people with some dignity. Since your mission seems to be getting
rid of all Sgk staff, why don’t you just fire them? No, you can’t
because you are such a coward.

Why is Okutoyi still getting a salary of 200K plus yet he’s an Ex-SGK
staff working for a competitor – a fact you very well know, have you
told the directors this? Just what is your interest in SGK? There’s no
money to give a pay rise to people who truly deserve it but there’s
for people who are never even there? They go for weeks without showing
in the office yet the network is having issues. Our network problems
have multiplied in the last few months with no one to resolve because
the chief is away working for the competitor. Did you ever stop and
think that the network issues that have grown in leaps and bounds
could be a case of sabotage by the competitor this guy is working for?
And isn’t it tantamount to fraud to pay someone salary yet he is never
in the office?

You are never open to challenges or questions, anyone who tries to
question your ways is out. You sit and gossip all day long with some
bunch of idiotic women that you have surrounded yourself with. All you
do is gossip with sub-ordinate staff. Instead of concentrating on the
core business of the company you are too busy engaging in cheap office
politics that don’t add value and screwing young girls who are young
enough to be your grandchildren. Aren’t you ashamed Maureen is too
young for you, or are you justifying it with the fact that you pay her
by bringing her to Swift with no papers and promoting her to be your
PA? Why would a form 4 dropout be promoted to the position of PA to
the MD? Surely, even an idiot can laugh at the joke!! Does it mean
that no other Kenyans are qualified enough to take up this position? I
thought this was a serious position that required someone mature and
educated? And who are these ex-waitresses who are now account
managers? What do waiters really know about ISP business to be account
managers? The least they could do is to get in to the system and
understand the business isn’t that right Mr Jiwa?

You are not meeting major clients who want to talk to you and reassure
them that their issues are being resolved? Unga churned while trying
to meet you. When they realized that you had no interest in talking to
them. They had no option but to churn. Account managers ask you to
meet certain clients and what’s your usual reply?………. Tell them I am
in South Africa while you sit your bum in your office; doing what? You
never meet the clients and whenever they ask for a meeting you always
pretend you are out of the country. Why? Are you afraid to meet the
clients? Aren’t you supposed to be our face to the client if no one
else can resolve their issues?

Since you came to SGK you have never brought any single client to the
company yet you claim to be the acting CCO. No single sale brought, no
client salvaged by you all you do is abuse staff and tell them to
“FUCK”!

You have surrounded yourself with Chiefs without due regard of the
company’s performance. Why are we having all these chiefs when the
company is doing so poorly? Isn’t it logical to cut down on costs when
the company is not doing well?

I would have told you all these on your face but
…………………since you are never  open to challenge you would
have told me,** FUCK OFF** you are fired!

 

Mr Naguib, you have lost the mandate to lead this company and the best
thing you can do is to resign go home and retire in peace or just
“FUCK-OFF” at least I can borrow something from you! You just can’t
hack it!