Archive for July, 2009

A MANLY GUIDE TO SEX

The following information was gained through much arduous research involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It consists of the most frequently asked questions of women (i.e., relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their behaviour in accordance with the truths established below.

Q: How do I know if I’m ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He’ll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they’re not as emotionally confused as women. It’s a proven fact.

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.

Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway.

Q: How long should the sex act last?
A: This is a natural & normal part of nature, so don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. After you’ve finished making love, he’ll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, & go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol & sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don’t feel left out — while he’s gone you can busy yourself by doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He’ll come back when he’s ready.

Q: What is “afterplay”?
A: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. “Afterplay” is simply a list of important activities for you to do after lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift.

Q: Does the size of the penis matter?
A: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about three inches. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and if by some chance your lover’s sexual organ is 4 inches or over, you should go down on your knees and thank your lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and/or buying him an expensive gift.

Q: What about the female orgasm?
A: What about it? There’s no such thing. It’s a myth

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Flashback to Bush’s idiotic quotes….. thank God for Obama

“One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people’s money to help prevent there to be a crisis.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009
“I’m telling you there’s an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That’s the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009
“In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009
“I guess it’s OK to call the secretary of education here ‘buddy.’ That means friend.” –George W. Bush, Philadelphia, Jan. 8, 2009
“So I analyzed that and decided I didn’t want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression.” –George W. Bush, Washington D.C., Dec. 18, 2008
“People say, well, do you ever hear any other voices other than, like, a few people? Of course I do.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2008
“I’ve abandoned free market principles to save the free market system.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008
“You know, I’m the President during this period of time, but I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so, before I arrived in President, during I arrived in President.” –George W. Bush, ABC News interview, Dec. 1, 2008
“I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008
“He was a great father before politics, a great father during politics and a great father after politics.” –George W. Bush, on his father, George H.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008
“Yesterday, you made note of my — the lack of my talent when it came to dancing. But nevertheless, I want you to know I danced with joy. And no question Liberia has gone through very difficult times.” –George W. Bush, speaking with the president of Liberia, Washington, D.C., Oct. 22, 2008
“I want to share with you an interesting program — for two reasons, one, it’s interesting, and two, my wife thought of it — or has actually been involved with it; she didn’t think of it. But she thought of it for this speech.” –George W. Bush, discussing a company that improves access to clean water in Africa, Washington D.C., Oct. 21, 2008
“This thaw — took a while to thaw, it’s going to take a while to unthaw.” –George W. Bush, on liquidity in the markets, Alexandria, La., Oct. 20, 2008
“I didn’t grow up in the ocean — as a matter of fact — near the ocean — I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean. And I particularly like it when I’m fishing.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2008
“Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2008
“We’re fixing to go down to Galveston and obviously are going to see a devastated part of this fantastic state.” –George W. Bush, Houston, Sept. 16, 2008
“The people in Louisiana must know that all across our country there’s a lot of prayer — prayer for those whose lives have been turned upside down. And I’m one of them.” –George W. Bush, Baton Rouge, La., Sept. 3, 2008
“First of all, I don’t see America having problems.” –George W. Bush, interview with Bob Costas at the 2008 Olympics, Beijing, China, Aug. 10, 2008
“I’m coming as the president of a friend, and I’m coming as a sportsman.” –George W. Bush, on his trip to the Olympics in China, Washington, D.C., July 30, 2008
“There’s no question about it. Wall Street got drunk — that’s one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras — it got drunk and now it’s got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments.” –George W. Bush, speaking at a private fundraiser, Houston, Texas, July 18, 2008 (Watch video clip)
“I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand — but the president doesn’t have a magic wand. You just can’t say, ‘low gas.'” –George W. Bush, Washington D.C., July 15, 2008
“And they have no disregard for human life.” –George W. Bush, on the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008
“The economy is growing, productivity is high, trade is up, people are working. It’s not as good as we’d like, but — and to the extent that we find weakness, we’ll move.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008
“Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” –George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008
“Amigo! Amigo!” –George W. Bush, calling out to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in Spanish at the G-8 Summit, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008
“Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people.” –George W. Bush, Charlottesville, Va., July 4, 2008
“Should the Iranian regime-do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that’s what I’d ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do.” –George W. Bush, talking to reporters in Washington, D.C., July 2, 2008
“But oftentimes I’m asked: Why? Why do you care what happens outside of America?” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26,2008
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“I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26, 2008
“I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that — in which there’s a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the — of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.” –George W. Bush, referring to White House chef Cristeta Comerford while meeting with Filipino President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Washington, D.C., June 24, 2008 (Watch video clip)
“And I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as president.” –George W. Bush, discussing flooding in the Midwest, Washington, D.C., June 17, 2008
“There is some who say that perhaps freedom is not universal. Maybe it’s only Western people that can self-govern. Maybe it’s only, you know, white-guy Methodists who are capable of self-government. I reject that notion.” –George W. Bush, London, June 16, 2008
“Your eminence, you’re looking good.” –George W. Bush to Pope Benedict XVI, using the title for Catholic cardinals, rather than addressing him as “your holiness,” Rome, June 13, 2008
“The German asparagus are fabulous.” –George W. Bush, Meseberg, Germany, June 11, 2008
“We’ve got a lot of relations with countries in our neighborhood.” –George W. Bush, Kranj, Slovenia, June 10, 2008
“One of the things important about history is to remember the true history.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 6, 2008
“There’s no question this is a major human disaster that requires a strong response from the Chinese government, which is what they’re providing, but it also responds a compassionate response from nations to whom — that have got the blessings, good blessings of life, and that’s us.” –George W. Bush, on relief efforts after a Chinese earthquake, Washington, D.C., June 6, 2008
“Let’s make sure that there is certainty during uncertain times in our economy.” — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 2, 2008
“We got plenty of money in Washington. What we need is more priority.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 2, 2008
“And so the fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there’s jobs at the machine-making place.” –George W. Bush, Mesa, Arizona, May 27, 2008
“I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 13, 2008
“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008
“How can you possibly have an international agreement that’s effective unless countries like China and India are not full participants?” –George W. Bush, Camp David, April 19, 2008
“Oftentimes people ask me, ‘Why is it that you’re so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008
“We want people owning their home — we want people owning a businesses.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008
“So long as I’m the president, my measure of success is victory — and success.” –George W. Bush, on Iraq, Washington, D.C., April 17, 2008
“Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech.” –George W. Bush, to Pope Benedict, Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008 (Watch video clip)
“A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what’s not on their mind.” –George W. Bush, Sochi, Russia, April 6, 2008
“Afghanistan is the most daring and ambition mission in the history of NATO.” –George W. Bush, Bucharest, Romania, April 2, 2008
“Soldiers, sailors, Marines, airmen, and Coastmen — Coast Guardmen, thanks for coming, thanks for wearing the uniform.” –George W. Bush, at the Pentagon, March 19, 2008
“I thank the diplomatic corps, who is here as well.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008
“Removing Saddam Hussein was the right decision early in my presidency, it is the right decision now, and it will be the right decision ever.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008
“Let me start off by saying that in 2000 I said, ‘Vote for me. I’m an agent of change.’ In 2004, I said, ‘I’m not interested in change –I want to continue as president.’ Every candidate has got to say ‘change.’ That’s what the American people expect.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 5, 2008
“And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq.” –George W. Bush, to Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008
“Wait a minute. What did you just say? You’re predicting $4-a-gallon gas? … That’s interesting. I hadn’t heard that.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 28, 2008
“I’m oftentimes asked, What difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot. It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a — it’s in our national interest.” –George W. Bush, Accra, Ghana, Feb. 20, 2008
“There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.” –George W. Bush, addressing U.S. troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, Jan. 12, 2008
“I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be — hold hands.” –George W. Bush, on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process, Washington, D.C., Jan. 4, 2008
“This is my maiden voyage. My first speech since I was the president of the United States and I couldn’t think of a better place to give it than Calgary, Canada.”—As reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009
“I’m going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there’s an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened.”—On what he hopes to accomplish with his memoir, as reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009
“I guess it’s OK to call the secretary of education here ‘buddy.’ That means friend.”—Philadelphia, Jan. 8, 2009
“One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people’s money to help prevent there to be a crisis.”—Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009
Click here to see video of Bush’s comments. The Bushism is at 20:48.
“In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession.”—Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

“One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people’s money to help prevent there to be a crisis.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

“I’m telling you there’s an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That’s the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

“In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

“I guess it’s OK to call the secretary of education here ‘buddy.’ That means friend.” –George W. Bush, Philadelphia, Jan. 8, 2009

“So I analyzed that and decided I didn’t want to be the president during a depression greater than the Great Depression, or the beginning of a depression greater than the Great Depression.” –George W. Bush, Washington D.C., Dec. 18, 2008

“People say, well, do you ever hear any other voices other than, like, a few people? Of course I do.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2008

“I’ve abandoned free market principles to save the free market system.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Dec. 16, 2008

“You know, I’m the President during this period of time, but I think when the history of this period is written, people will realize a lot of the decisions that were made on Wall Street took place over a decade or so, before I arrived in President, during I arrived in President.” –George W. Bush, ABC News interview, Dec. 1, 2008

“I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008

“He was a great father before politics, a great father during politics and a great father after politics.” –George W. Bush, on his father, George H.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Nov. 12, 2008

“Yesterday, you made note of my — the lack of my talent when it came to dancing. But nevertheless, I want you to know I danced with joy. And no question Liberia has gone through very difficult times.” –George W. Bush, speaking with the president of Liberia, Washington, D.C., Oct. 22, 2008

“I want to share with you an interesting program — for two reasons, one, it’s interesting, and two, my wife thought of it — or has actually been involved with it; she didn’t think of it. But she thought of it for this speech.” –George W. Bush, discussing a company that improves access to clean water in Africa, Washington D.C., Oct. 21, 2008

“This thaw — took a while to thaw, it’s going to take a while to unthaw.” –George W. Bush, on liquidity in the markets, Alexandria, La., Oct. 20, 2008

“I didn’t grow up in the ocean — as a matter of fact — near the ocean — I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean. And I particularly like it when I’m fishing.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2008

“Anyone engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2008

“We’re fixing to go down to Galveston and obviously are going to see a devastated part of this fantastic state.” –George W. Bush, Houston, Sept. 16, 2008

“The people in Louisiana must know that all across our country there’s a lot of prayer — prayer for those whose lives have been turned upside down. And I’m one of them.” –George W. Bush, Baton Rouge, La., Sept. 3, 2008

“First of all, I don’t see America having problems.” –George W. Bush, interview with Bob Costas at the 2008 Olympics, Beijing, China, Aug. 10, 2008

“I’m coming as the president of a friend, and I’m coming as a sportsman.” –George W. Bush, on his trip to the Olympics in China, Washington, D.C., July 30, 2008

“There’s no question about it. Wall Street got drunk — that’s one of the reasons I asked you to turn off the TV cameras — it got drunk and now it’s got a hangover. The question is how long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments.” –George W. Bush, speaking at a private fundraiser, Houston, Texas, July 18, 2008 (Watch video clip)

“I think it was in the Rose Garden where I issued this brilliant statement: If I had a magic wand — but the president doesn’t have a magic wand. You just can’t say, ‘low gas.'” –George W. Bush, Washington D.C., July 15, 2008

“And they have no disregard for human life.” –George W. Bush, on the brutality of Afghan fighters, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008

“The economy is growing, productivity is high, trade is up, people are working. It’s not as good as we’d like, but — and to the extent that we find weakness, we’ll move.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., July 15, 2008

“Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.” –George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

“Amigo! Amigo!” –George W. Bush, calling out to Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in Spanish at the G-8 Summit, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

“Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people.” –George W. Bush, Charlottesville, Va., July 4, 2008

“Should the Iranian regime-do they have the sovereign right to have civilian nuclear power? So, like, if I were you, that’s what I’d ask me. And the answer is, yes, they do.” –George W. Bush, talking to reporters in Washington, D.C., July 2, 2008

“But oftentimes I’m asked: Why? Why do you care what happens outside of America?” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26,2008

“I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 26, 2008

“I want to tell you how proud I am to be the President of a nation that — in which there’s a lot of Philippine-Americans. They love America and they love their heritage. And I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the — of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.” –George W. Bush, referring to White House chef Cristeta Comerford while meeting with Filipino President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Washington, D.C., June 24, 2008 (Watch video clip)

“And I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as president.” –George W. Bush, discussing flooding in the Midwest, Washington, D.C., June 17, 2008

“There is some who say that perhaps freedom is not universal. Maybe it’s only Western people that can self-govern. Maybe it’s only, you know, white-guy Methodists who are capable of self-government. I reject that notion.” –George W. Bush, London, June 16, 2008

“Your eminence, you’re looking good.” –George W. Bush to Pope Benedict XVI, using the title for Catholic cardinals, rather than addressing him as “your holiness,” Rome, June 13, 2008

“The German asparagus are fabulous.” –George W. Bush, Meseberg, Germany, June 11, 2008

“We’ve got a lot of relations with countries in our neighborhood.” –George W. Bush, Kranj, Slovenia, June 10, 2008

“One of the things important about history is to remember the true history.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 6, 2008

“There’s no question this is a major human disaster that requires a strong response from the Chinese government, which is what they’re providing, but it also responds a compassionate response from nations to whom — that have got the blessings, good blessings of life, and that’s us.” –George W. Bush, on relief efforts after a Chinese earthquake, Washington, D.C., June 6, 2008

“Let’s make sure that there is certainty during uncertain times in our economy.” — George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 2, 2008

“We got plenty of money in Washington. What we need is more priority.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., June 2, 2008

“And so the fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there’s jobs at the machine-making place.” –George W. Bush, Mesa, Arizona, May 27, 2008

“I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 13, 2008

“I’ll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

“How can you possibly have an international agreement that’s effective unless countries like China and India are not full participants?” –George W. Bush, Camp David, April 19, 2008

“Oftentimes people ask me, ‘Why is it that you’re so focused on helping the hungry and diseased in strange parts of the world?'” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

“We want people owning their home — we want people owning a businesses.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 18, 2008

“So long as I’m the president, my measure of success is victory — and success.” –George W. Bush, on Iraq, Washington, D.C., April 17, 2008

“Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech.” –George W. Bush, to Pope Benedict, Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008 (Watch video clip)

“A lot of times in politics you have people look you in the eye and tell you what’s not on their mind.” –George W. Bush, Sochi, Russia, April 6, 2008

“Afghanistan is the most daring and ambition mission in the history of NATO.” –George W. Bush, Bucharest, Romania, April 2, 2008

“Soldiers, sailors, Marines, airmen, and Coastmen — Coast Guardmen, thanks for coming, thanks for wearing the uniform.” –George W. Bush, at the Pentagon, March 19, 2008

“I thank the diplomatic corps, who is here as well.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008

“Removing Saddam Hussein was the right decision early in my presidency, it is the right decision now, and it will be the right decision ever.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 12, 2008

“Let me start off by saying that in 2000 I said, ‘Vote for me. I’m an agent of change.’ In 2004, I said, ‘I’m not interested in change –I want to continue as president.’ Every candidate has got to say ‘change.’ That’s what the American people expect.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., March 5, 2008

“And so, General, I want to thank you for your service. And I appreciate the fact that you really snatched defeat out of the jaws of those who are trying to defeat us in Iraq.” –George W. Bush, to Army Gen. Ray Odierno, Washington, D.C., March 3, 2008

“Wait a minute. What did you just say? You’re predicting $4-a-gallon gas? … That’s interesting. I hadn’t heard that.” –George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Feb. 28, 2008

“I’m oftentimes asked, What difference does it make to America if people are dying of malaria in a place like Ghana? It means a lot. It means a lot morally, it means a lot from a — it’s in our national interest.” –George W. Bush, Accra, Ghana, Feb. 20, 2008

“There is no doubt in my mind when history was written, the final page will say: Victory was achieved by the United States of America for the good of the world.” –George W. Bush, addressing U.S. troops at Camp Arifjan in Kuwait, Jan. 12, 2008

“I can press when there needs to be pressed; I can hold hands when there needs to be — hold hands.” –George W. Bush, on how he can contribute to the Middle East peace process, Washington, D.C., Jan. 4, 2008

“This is my maiden voyage. My first speech since I was the president of the United States and I couldn’t think of a better place to give it than Calgary, Canada.”—As reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009

“I’m going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there’s an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened.”—On what he hopes to accomplish with his memoir, as reported by the Associated Press, Calgary, Canada, March 17, 2009

“I guess it’s OK to call the secretary of education here ‘buddy.’ That means friend.”—Philadelphia, Jan. 8, 2009

“One of the very difficult parts of the decision I made on the financial crisis was to use hardworking people’s money to help prevent there to be a crisis.”—Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

“In terms of the economy, look, I inherited a recession, I am ending on a recession.”—Washington, D.C., Jan. 12, 2009

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Does the ICC make sense to you?

It is silly season and everyone is going gaga over the ‘Hague’…. But I have my misgivings on the International Criminal Court which I am oft forced to reduce to nothing more than the usual window dressing, talkathons and razzmatazz that international bodies, such as the United Nations, seem to have been reduced to in the wake of powerful nations defying resolutions and vetoing what isn’t in their interest, albeit it might be in the wider global interest, refusing to sign up to protocols that call for collective responsibility such as environmental matters. The first discrepancy in this Court has to do with the claim of being ‘international’ which seems to be meant to convey pretences to universal acceptance and jurisdiction. To begin with only 108 states are members of the court with 39 other countries having developed cold feet when it came to ratifying the Rome Statute that established the Court on 1st July 2002; this also means the court cannot prosecute crimes committed before this date. The court itself is defined as a permanent tribunal tasked with prosecuting individuals for crimes against humanity, war crimes, genocide and crimes of aggression.
With that out the way comes the part that bothers me regarding this court and its effectiveness: A glance at the countries that have refused to sign up as members or openly campaigned against the ICC is very telling; it is not reassuring that the world’s only superpower, The United States of America, is at the head of the rogue list, common allies like Israel are staunchly opposed to this Court and America and Israel ,being some of the most notorious aggressors on earth, it’s easy to see why. Other strange bedfellows in this alliance against an all-encompassing court include China, Russia, India, Iraq, Libya, Qatar and Yemen.
America’s exit from the court is a sad piece of Bush policy that I hope Obama has the guts to reverse; the U.S. was one of 139 countries which signed the Rome Statue, the very treaty establishing the ICC, however, the Bush administration was resistant to ratification and went ahead to announce to the UN of a unilateral decision by the U.S.to nullify its signature and thus withdraw its support (it was hitherto unheard of to ‘nullify’ a signature but oh well, this was Bush we are talking about). The Bush administration then went further and threatened to cut-off military aid to countries in the process of ratifying the Rome Statue who would not have clauses that exempt U.S. citizens and military personne;l effectively granting immunity from prosecution for such crimes as within the ICC’s jurisdiction.
The ICC has so far opened investigations into crimes committed in: DRC, Northern Uganda, the Central African Republic and Darfur (Sudan). 14 people have been indicted, of which 5 are still in custody, 7 remain free and 2 have passed on.
What I worry about then has to do with several issues that are apparent;
1. It speaks volumes that all the countries from which ‘criminals’ have been indicted, except for Radzic from Serbia, are in Africa and that is one coincidence I would love Ocampo to give me to understand.
2. Can the ICC have any real teeth when the world’s sole super-power has refused to sign and is in-fact coercing dependent states from ratifying their membership?
3. What does it imply when countries like China, India, Russia (members of the emerging trading block called BRIC which has most of the world’s population and dollar reserves) and the likes of Libya and Iraq team up with the States and Israel to fight the ICC?
4. It also has to be said that the ICC, even by its defined role, is meant to intervene in situations where a country doesn’t have functional courts or is basically in such turmoil as to have a government that is nothing more than a basket case; does Kenya really fit this profile or indeed is the scale of violence that took place in the aftermath of the last general elections really at par with the atrocities committed by the likes of Thomas Lubanga who enlisted children under 15 years of age to kill and main or Charles Taylor’s reign of terror in Liberia or Omar El-Bashir’s genocide in Sudan

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The elephant in the room; The Male contraceptive pill

In the steady match towards a society in which all genders are given equal opportunity and discrimination based on one’s sex is being attacked from every front, it is no surprise that issues that just a few years back were regarded as closed issues have come back to the fore; one such issue is contraception, specifically development of a male birth control pill (MBCP)

Apparently there have been recent reports of just such a breakthrough in concocting such a pill (though knowing the complicated and slow licensing regime for drugs this pill might still be years away). This might sound like good news for progressive men and their partners or for combative feminists who want to see men shoulder the burden of family planning and the dangers of pumping your body full of hormones and the attendant side-effects; but not everyone is smiling and here is why:

Some women are not comfortable knowing men will be able to determine if and when they would like to have children, these brand of belligerent females are of the opinion that only women should decide when to conceive especially as they argue men are never ‘ready’ and must be pushed; of course this is the exact reason men who want more control advance for wanting this pill. Another reason some men might be resistant to such a pill has to do with the fact that it contains a combination of progestogen and testosterone; now, progestogen is a female steroid hormone that maintains pregnancy and blocks ovulation, it is also the main ingredient in female contraceptive pills and this might scare a lot of men into fear that an MCPB containing ‘female’ hormones might affect their ‘manliness’ in adverse ways; no man wants to grow a pair of breasts for the sake of birth control. The drug companies might also be complicit in their resistance to spending scarce research and development funds in developing a drug they are not sure will be entirely popular, this is very significant since men in particular are resistant to things medical and will often take drugs or even visit doctors as a last resort.

It might not be here yet, but so far the male contraception pill is raising temperatures; militant women on the one hand are insisting that men have no right to avoid the ‘punishment’ of fatherhood as a consequence of thinking that sex should be ‘just having fun’ without considering what women want; sexist men claiming that contraception is entirely a woman’s responsibility as she is the one who ultimately shoulders the burden of pregnancy; harassed partners who have had to struggle with side effects of hormones in pills without any sympathy from their male partners are salivating at the prospect of men having a taste of this bitter pill and worried men who are not very comfortable with a pill that has female hormones in it and the niggly fact that the drug works after three months of being ingested and takes a similar amount of time for its effects to be reversed isn’t very reassuring either.

One thing is for sure; it has an edge over vasectomy as its not permanent, and it certainly doesn’t take the sensation out of sex like latex, unfortunately vested interests are fighting it before its even launched! This begs the question; are we ready, and indeed is there need, for a male birth control pill?

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CONSPIRACY THEORIES ON MICHAEL JACKSON’S DEATH (OR LACK THEREOF)

Having lived the sort of secluded peculiar life he did, it was bound to happen that his death would have tongues wagging, the grapevine buzzing and all manner of cock and bull conspiracy theories being formulated. MJ seems to be the biggest thing to happen this year, this has overshadowed Obama’s inauguration or Iran’s faulty elections and has even managed to push economic recession gloom off the airwaves, albeit temporarily.
About a quarter of all tweets had ‘Michael Jackson’ in them within a day of his death and most people on Facebook updated their profile with a reference to him or posted his videos and quite a sizeable number changed their profile pictures to one of Jacko. Predictably the most common theory is that MJ isn’t dead at all… a few main stream media organizations as well as numerous blogs and websites carry such theories and you can follow the links below to get to any that might interest you.

Personally, I think the theories are a bunch of crap as this is the same non-sense that came out, and continues to, when greats like Elvis Presley, Bob Marley and Tupac died…. MJ is dead and gone, let’s celebrate his life

Russian’s claim Icon Michael Jackson was assassinated By CIA fourwinds10.com
Theory that Jacko is ‘alive’ thesun.co.uk
Michael Jackson’s fateful prediction just a week before his death dailymail.co.uk
Jackson Death Conspiracy uk.news.yahoo.com
MJ conspiracy theories; unanswered questions telegraph.co.uk
Jackson Conspiracy Theory digitalspy.co.uk
Jackson might have been chemically Manipulated for Profit naturalnews.com
He had just pills in his stomach, was bald, bruised, his ribs broken and had 4 needle wounds near his heart thesun.co.uk

Websites dedicated to these conspiracy theories include:

michaeljacksonsightings.com

michaeljacksonhoaxdeath.com

Photos of MJ’s last performances here

dailymail.co.uk

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Abortion: is it just male chauvinists versus hardline feminists?

I have watched, with growing repulsion, as the reproductive health debate degenerates into nothing more than a gender slinging match with each passing day; Basically, those pro-choice, mostly women and a few metrosexual liberal men, have taken a hard-line stand in which the rest of men are lumped under the ignoble description of being nothing more than neanderthal chauvinists who are pushing for the enslavement of any woman who gets pregnant without intending to and who would like to take away the right of a woman to control what she should carry in her own body. The pro-life group, on the other hand, basically sees those who would commit abortion as murderers who want to deny an innocent baby the very breath of life that they fervently enjoy themselves.

The reason this particular issue raises the ugly head of inequality has to do with several factors, chief among these is the insistence of most governments to decide on abortion, this implies that a woman’s body, her uterus, is not her own but is actually controlled by the state who, incidentally, happen to have a male majority in positions of political leadership and policy formulation. I recall one fierce pro-choice blogger who put it that; there would be howling from all males, liberal or conservative, were the state to move in and claim sovereignty over men’s penises and testicles, according to her, those who profess to be pro-life are only interested in subjugating all women who become pregnant and making them beholden to the state and its archaic male-leaning policies. It is not surprising that pro-life activists often claim that the goal of pro-lifers is not to reduce, or possibly eliminate, abortion, but that  it is geared towards enslaving womenfolk by limiting their freedom to engage in sex because of the “chastisement” that is pregnancy.

So, is abortion really a women’s right issue directly related to a march towards gender parity or is it just a liberal women’s issue being pushed by a few hardcore feminists who, ironically, incessantly harp on the line that men are incapable of understanding this issue and as such do not qualify to render an opinion by virtue of being men? There is even an argument that blocking legal abortions is tantamount to governments ordering all unmarried men be sterilized to prevent pregnancies; I don’t know how many see that as a fitting analogy.

PS. I have created a poll on the same issue, feel free to participate

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