You are a millionaire; she said she loves you huh?

It doesn’t take much thought if a woman is to choose between a hunk riding a bike and a clumsy geek driving a Mercedes. The guy with the Mercedes usually wins!
Recently watching American comedian, Chris Rock, something he said really struck me as a glaring fact of life that a lot of us have been oblivious to for so long that I sort of had an ‘aha’ moment. He said that when it comes to dating and relationships, women never lower their expectations and demands once they have had opportunity to enjoy any social progression; basically he meant that a woman will simply not accept a diminished lifestyle removed from what she has become accustomed to -and accustomed here is not a matter of a long time, it’s a sudden leap.
For instance a girl who has been taken on a date to a fancy restaurant will find it unacceptable if the next man she goes out with wants to take her to a first food joint; a woman who has been taken for a weekend get away to a local resort will demand that the next man to take her for a holiday abroad; a woman who has had a man buy her a car will require the next one to step up the game and get her a house in leafy suburbia. The moral of the story is that once you get a lady used to the comforts and trappings of affluence, woe unto you should you make a bad investment and lose all your money or get the sack or go bankrupt. According to Rock, she will probably tell you “Don’t worry because I can get rid of some of the stuff in the house to see us through, but what she really means is; “I will get rid of you!”
A couple of generations ago the narrative of a woman’s life was fixed from the moment of her birth. She would be a good daughter, then later a good wife and mother. For sure it was not really that simple, she needed to find a big agile man to protect and take care of her offspring and, but even then, there is reason to believe a step backward on the scale of life was not acceptable, a woman who had a warrior for a man would not settle down with a peasant farmer if it was up to her. Though it would be hard to imagine women kicking men out back then in what was an extremely patriarchal world, nature had its ways of ensuring weak providers were weeded out. Things might be different now with a lot of women earning their own money, but still the role of a man as a provider simply will not disappear that easily; a man who cannot provide is going to have a hard time getting a mate and that is the blunt truth; a man who started out with a certain level of provision and then somehow is now unable to sustain that is equally in deep trouble.
While this might sound cruel and a testimony to the ruthlessness of the fair sex, one needs to delve deeper than what is on the surface and understand why things are the way they are. In fact it is necessary to look at the approach men and women have to relationships and what love and commitment means to each; Love and Commitment, though having assorted interpretations in different cultures, if dissected totally, is just a demand that a man shows a willingness to give his full attention and all his resources unselfishly to his mate and offspring, commitment thus also implies a man’s promise of future fidelity and continued protection and sharing of his resources. According to freelance writer Jennifer Wright “When a woman says that love is important, what she is implying is that she wants to insure that his support in the future will continue. His infidelity, and loss of love, could mean redistribution of his resources.
The passage of time has not negated the basic biological imperatives that men and women consider when trying to choose a mate. While men instinctively go after women who will give them healthy children and allow them to continue their genetic legacy, women want a man who will assist them in providing for those children. Men want fit children, and women are out to ensure those children will not starve. The reason men gravitate towards women who look a certain way is historically because those physical characteristics that we find attractive are those that indicate fertility. This certainly hasn’t changed significantly for modern women: Columnist Maureen Dowd notes that “40 years after the dawn of feminism, the ideal of feminine beauty is more rigid and unnatural than ever.” The same can be said of women’s attraction to the guy who can assure her of a steady supply of the resources she needs to ensure she and her offspring have food on the table and clothes on their backs. Any threat to future provision will be met with hostility and this not some callous and cold-hearted action, it’s not an unfeeling blow to a man who is already down, it’s just what nature has imprinted in our subconscious to ensure the survival of our species.


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